idk why but i just wanna to have sex with the idea of him. i don't even wanna meet him.
I like to use the word "seasoned" over "slutty", you know, like a good curly fry
i've never seen someone fall down the steps so gracefully... i think im in love
The idea of snorting emergen-c actually just crossed my mind.
UPDATE: lighting the grill with Bacardi. Haven't slept. Forgot the hamburger buns. Almost out of our eighth handle.
Seriously though a big penis is like a puppy dog, or a sunny day or some other glorious thing
You are such a penis elitist
Sounds like it could have been the night you pulled out your love stump at the strip club.
I can feel my pain tolerance has shot up right along with my libido
I'm not going to say what I did. You're smart enough to figure it out. But I did it. And you owe me 20$
Stumbled across a pregnancy test in my closet. Oh, the freshman year flashbacks..
Is it weird that I only look up my ex on Twitter when I take a shit? May have conditioned myself to associate him with shit
His dog was laying on the bed and he said we could have sex as long as we didn't disturb his dog. My life is pathetic
"suitors" is just a nice way of her saying "the guys i'm fucking"
gonna stay in tonight
and im a platypus. shotgun a beer and get your dick to this party. ive got some hot friends visiting
On the brightside we know now that empty pringle cans are accepted at mcdonalds as cups.... Screw people who judged us, we saved a buck
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