After she threw up on my floor she started singing "this is why I'm hot."
We owe the rent and you're unemployed...you're in no financial position to flirt with cocaine addiction.
I was found on the hood of someone elses car... Who would've thought there were 2 white nissans?
He choked me out. i woke up to poo. I dont think i like S&M
I just got a 45 minute blow job...she literally sucked the single life outta me.
u sound so gay right now
I heard porn and smelled bacon cooking. I knew you had to be home.
You're probably reading this when you wake up from your "nap" in the front yard. Maybe next week you should go to class, and not start Thirsty Thursday at 9:30 in the morning.
If you value my life, if you value your own, please look for that godforsaken cookie. Please.
Hahahaaa There's this one girl crying hysterically and wrapped around (i believe) her ex's leg. He's trying to shake her off without spilling his beer. This is fucking priceless.
I gasped. Both pairs of lips did.
Day drinking straight vodka out of a Mountain Dew can being towed behind a kayak on a raft. And no, there is no time difference, it really is 10 am.
Was in the middle of a keg stand, the frat guys dropped me, and I broke my nose. My mom didn't enjoy that call from the hospital.
Your trash is full of condoms and yoohoos what a great life we live
I totally just pulled my thong out of my purse at the grocery store. Oops.
I mean she did throw a tantrum because you wouldn't let her suck your dick
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