Honestly I wish you never came into my life. I know I don't want you. But I keep trying to get you back bc of the memories
I don't see you I see the memories. All the time
ok 1 i realized people actually live in central wisconsin and 2 culvers could be a good place to pick up chicks today
soo according to the calendar on my phone, I'm 5 minutes late to have sex with that guy from work. Apparently we planned this, I even set an alarm.
You need Jesus like Tony Danza needs another hit show.
you'd be alarmed at how much plan b i just found in mom's bathroom...
I can't be held responsible for my own vagina. Let's just be honest here.
I traded my shirt for vodka. I wonder if my parents can pinpoint where they went wrong raising me.
You left the resturant and came back with a McDonalds burger in your pocket so ya...no more pregaming birthday dinners. Especially since it wasn't your birthday.
Dude she broke four ribs, how does a 110 lb girl break four of my ribs during sex?! It hurts so bad but was so worth it
I'm so sick
I would imagine. You did most of your drinking for brazil last night.
That and I think I got food poisoning from sharing nachos with that homeless guy..
Oh jesus...leave it to you to hit on not one but two guys who can't fuck you till marriage.
i don't know what body building stuff he's on, but his cum is basically a 5 hour energy shot.
Dicks are not precious.
I'M GOING TO DIE ALONE WITHOUT ANYONE PRETENDING TO BE A MARRIED COUPLE WHILE DRUNK AT A MALL WITH ME
For someone who claims to be straight, she knows a hell of a lot about bi erasure, and one Hayley Kiyoko song too many
Randomize
