when did we get so old that our friends started having LEGITIMATE children?
he kept refering to his penis as the "eternal sunshine"
He showed me a four inch blond hair that grows out of his side. He calls it his little ray of sunshine. Please come get me.
theres a kid face down in the middle of campus... people are going about their day and paying no attention to him
Totally using formspring as an incognito way of making sure that girl from last night wasn't jailbait.
You blacked out and walked in on my neighbor breast feeding at 3am yelling "where is my best friend". I think we should go apologize.
Made a vodka juice box out of a ziploc bag and a straw for when I drive. Doesn't count as an open beverage container anymore.
He's on the floor in just a Burberry tie. All my girl parts just tapped out.
You're 31, how do you still outdrink all these college kids?
Practice, Irish genes, and a lack of desire to live past 40. But mostly practice.
Why does your life consist of lesbians, black guys and cats?
Anne is dead. totally passed out and was flat out in the street
he asked if he should bring the trash can into the room.. apparently i shoved my finger all over his face and said.. shhhh dont talk... just take your pants off.
Don't get mad at me now, you have my car and all the doughnuts
A girl I had a drunken hook up with is on interventon right now
Please tell me you haven’t left campus yet!!!! I forgot my Hitachi and will not survive Thanksgiving without a steady supply of orgasms
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