Just role played anchorman. And yes, I did take her to pleasure town.
I just shot gunned a beer for your birthday alone because you're too hungover at midnight to get out of bed. I'm not sure which of us is the bigger loser
Hairspray is covering 85% of my body. Help.
Wait until you see the roof.
The police scanner is talking about you again....
12 garbage cans filled with water, a beer can floating in every garbage can, 20 ft. apart and you shoot with dodge balls..and thats only how the night began
i feel like everytime i say im going to quit drinking someone comes along with a better idea about drinking
I thought making out with his sister would be a great way of meeting him. But it backfired.
when it says do not use on the face or genital areas, it MEANS do not use on the face or genital areas.
I just invented spray cheese vodka. tastes real nasty but does the trick.
I puked walking onto the plane. How do you think my post-Birthday hangover went?
She sat next to me on the couch and said "word going around is you got a sweet cock". My nickname problem was solved!
What part of a retired stonemason dealing with your rock hard cock does not sound like you have the wrong number ?
I shall relish in being the most basic of bitches
Look, his dick is so good at being a dick that it makes me see God. And I don't even believe in God.
he was wearing pj pants, thank you for not letting me go home with him
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