i'm sitting in the pool eating chicken pot pie with my little brother's friend. moments like these are the reason i love weed.
They have a guy from new zealand living under their stairs.. they don't charge him rent. He just buys food and booze and bartends their house parties.
If you're that baked in a class full of people that know you're that baked you tend to offer up a peace offering. Its like the burrito of trust! If eaten you are now obligated to help maintain my grades and keep me from falling out of my chair. $3.75 a morning is worth it for that mafia type protection!
It has become abundantly clear why you give me pixie stix when you're drunk now...
Just made nicotine water. Ithink i'm having a heart attack.
When I blacked in, I was crying to my father at the swim-up bar that "I was going to win an Oscar." how do you THINK Mexico was?
The Angel on my shoulder is now resorting to merely reminding me that, "You will regret this later." I'm not sure if he's learning how I think or just giving up. Either way, should make life a bit more interesting.
Slowly realizing that my only incentive to bathe is shower beer
Dramatic love triangle! I guess mystery Asian and I will just have to fight it out for your love.
I have cobwebs on my vagina for halloween. And bats fly out when I open my legs.
you were crying saying "if you love me you will find me a loaf of bread"
I think after 8 tries we can say Stoli Thursdays cause too much damage.
Yesterday I went home with one shoe, today I go home with three. Fucking win.
He'd never survive you. Is there a boot camp for pre-heather training?
He just got home after serving 5 years in prison. And I think I may courtesy fuck him. Best Christmas present ever.
please don't ironically join a cult
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