In line at the arbys drive thru on foot. Legendary.
He is such a slut. More and more my type.
So he sent me a text that said "say hi to your vajayjay for me"
Was there any message he wanted you to relay to your asshole?
hahaha he is wasted in math class right now and is drawing all the planets in order from the sun
Hannah wants to know if she cant borrow your stats notes because she threw up on hers.
i promise the blood crusted on your tits is from him motorboating you after he tripped into the pool stick. nothing else.
So your best guy friend eats your pussy once and a while, no big deal. It's like going to jiffy lube once and a while to let the professionals do it. Your husband should understand .
if i ever get hit by a car or something and become paralyzed promise me youll still be here to hand feed me shots and light my bowls please
Is eating fries while lying on the floor bad for you?
If I choke and die at least I will have been doing something I love
I just threw up again because I opened my eyes... God is laughing. I resorted to taking the Mexican Dramamine because I feel seasick from walking. Not helping.
If you come home and I'm pantsless with cake smeared all over my face, I'm sorry.
I'm willing to share. He can have sloppy seconds.
Just because your gf gives mediocre bjs doesn't mean I can fill that void
Any sexual interaction is meaningless without pizza during half time.
I mean, he'll either figure it the fuck out or set my apartment on fire. Either way, it will be entertaining.
Randomize
