would you consider dating someone with braces an investment?
So pretty much, I was trying to piece last night together and remembered a point where I was pointing to you heart then touching your face. I'm not sure that I ever translated that to "I like your personality better than your looks" but that's what I meant
i may or may not have puked on your loofa in the shower.
you started crying about dinosaurs being extinct
that's why i woke up holding that dina girls hand
she's a dina-saur
Duuuude. Everything is so brilliant right now. This frosting is freaking orgasmic.
It's vanilla, man. Accept no substitutes. There are so many t's in that word.
He did a 4 wheel burnout and yelled at the cops "Sorry! It's for a school project!". HOW does he think of this shit?
You were carrying around a milk crate, randomly putting it down calling out 'praise be to the milk gods' and making people pray to it.
Lube is flammable
Who is this??
Im playing the how drunk can i get before my card declines game. being single sucks. But getting drunk after work alone in fridays on a wenesday night sucks way more.
Woke up naked next to Alex and he was braiding my hair and then commented on how healthy my hair was. I don't even know anymore..
She frightens me and turns me on at the same time. She's a keeper
Restraining order pending?
I just saw a fat girl roll down the steps taking out three people with her, thought you should know.....
I am just saying if Clark Kent walks into your life, you fuck him
You know it was a good dinner party when one of the guests broke their finger and no one can remember how it happened.
I woke up handcuffed to a bed wearing nothing but an army belt. Does this count as thanking our country?
Randomize
