So the hot 23 year old i went home with last night is really 17 and was here for orientation.. i feel like a pedifile...
In that case, you should probably come up to the union, orientation is in full swing, your kind of guys ;)
cunt.
My ferret is drunk. Someone told me you'd know what to do?
I'm like cupid
You're a whore with a bow and arrow
Ok cool. Ill pick up liquor because, well let's be honest, we don't need an excuse anymore.
My cleaning lady just walked in the kitchen and i had a hardcore boner. I dont know what awkward is anymore
He bought me shots at the bar as his way of of paying me back for Plan B
Just drunk tweeted NASA asking them to give me a lift home in one of their spaceships. Fingers crossed
I had to stop mid sex to take my turn on words with friends so he wouldn't get suspicious. Hookup of the night helped me. We won.
Felt like shit, jerked off, felt ten times better. Being a guy rules. It's like I got all the demons out in 5 minutes.
I'm more of a 'talk at me while I stare at you' kinda girl.
One of my students submitted a thesis proposal to find the exact correlation between desire for sexual intercourse and vaginal heat.
Tell me you accepted it! This is critical fucking research!
I have the relationship skills of Miley Cyrus and I could've said this was a bad idea
Fuck it, if you can't drink cheep beer and whiskey with me, I don't want you.
Drinks have officially taken priority over self-respect, and I'm not even all that torn up about it.
If I had a dollar for every functioning brain cell you had I would owe someone a lot of money
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