And then I said "flip over. I want to show you something i learned in Afghanistan."
Dude I just peed on my pants. not in them though. and yes there is a difference
What would Jesus do? ... Jesus would slap a ho.
I didn't think it was possible but there may actually be TOO MANY pictures of me tagged shotgunning.
on a related note, did you know that the fire alarm in our apartment talks?
sitting on my lesbian neighbors couch, sexting, & eating a burrito.. that single
David pulled a magic mike again and started stripping on every street sign we passed.
So please don't worry, but I need some help getting blood out of my drywall so I can get my security deposit back. I would not ask if the need was not great.
Then he said,"I love you like a sister I like to have sex with."
I'm questioning my decision to swallow this morning while my stomach was in hangover mode
I'm eating cookie dough with a tongue depressor for lunch.
Anyone who can sit 4 hours in a doobie circle with their feet in a kiddie pool is ok by me
How weird is it that 2 people I've had sex with have the same birthday and they don't even know each other
You know you're out of shape when you're sore after masturbating.
Ps can u get with my cousin? He's a freshman at uconn and he's very attractive but like were related....
Randomize
