You don't have asthma, your pregnant
She said so on her MySpace, so it's gotta be true.
Things I've learned: after you move in with a girl it's much less satisfying to wipe your dick on her sheets after sex because now they're your sheets too
This whole foot fetish thing is getting out of control. He would rather hold my feet than me after we fuck.
I just want to apologize for screaming when I saw you the other day. It's just that you looked really gross and I was high.
I will pre answer that I did not see it the fun way. He was peeing outside.
It mathmatically balances. Less pants + more shirt = fully clothed. see? Not a whore!
I don't know what it was about last night, but every bar that i went to there was at least one girl there that i had done something with. I'm sure the girl that i went with knew because they all grabbed my penis and told me to call them.
When he was fat he reminded me of my high school best friend and I just wanted to hug him and hug him. Also, he's funny and humor is the fastest way into my pants after Doctor Who and liquor.
Is this the guy that did shots off my ass at the beach? Haha
This morning on my way to work I saw a guy ride his bike straight into a woman and her dog while trying to light a bowl. Thought of you.
Some guy was coming onto me last night and in the middle of it all he said: 'It literally says this on my birth certificate: Francis Coburt: The Guy Who Can Pull Two Beers Outta His Pants Like Magic.'
Basically all I do anymore is get stoned with my cats, and then we share goldfish.
i think im in europe. pls send help
I can show you the world. Shining, splimbering vaginaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa
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