so she proceeds to puke everywhere, look up at me like a sick dog, and then say, "i'll finish if you want me to."
will power is for people who don't want to get laid
No one goes out in public like that, unless they do anal
i told him to take shots to cure a hangover and he told me i was "walking the steppingstones to alcoholism"
just saw an advertisement for the rock in the tooth fairy...can you say rock bottom?
his dick got so hard in his pants and it broke his zipper
He's acting like I should like him more than vodka and Taco Bell, but I just don't ser that happening.
We are keeping it ultra classy drinking 40s and playing croquet with 90s rap blasting in the back ground
I have a breathe right strip stuck to my forehead, several inexplicable bruises and I think someone tried to paint my nails with glue, but I still have my Santa hat. I'm gonna call this one a success.
Just made a diving catch to save a handle of Fireball falling out of the car. ESPN worthy.
We were watchin sharknado and we hooked up while I had the Donald Trump shirt on. She said she felt like he was staring at her
We fucked while The Odyssey played in the background. Homer would be proud.
I need to stop waking up with no pants on.
what happened this time
I dont know everyone was gone and there was a bird in the room
We played 2 very competitive games of Jenga and then fucked our brains out... BEST. RELATIONSHIP. EVER.
What happened last night? I just woke up and there's like 15 mcflurry cups on the floor
You don't remember stealing them?
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