Oh yes. The girl who wanted me to watch her pee.
I'm getting very good at recycling my hook ups. So even though i'm having more sex... I'm the same amount of slutty.
Yes! I like to call that picking from the buffet!
pop tarts are not kleenex
He said "I know I'm not gay. I fucked a guy once and didn't like it"
about 90% sure I fell off a roof. It hurts BAD. Don't suppose you're still in town?
yup haha I infact DID fall off a roof. Want some bomb ass omlettes?
He said "I can't wait for you to feel me inside of you so I can tell you gently that you're mine" and left me a 4 minute voice mail of him crying after I told him I didn't want to be with him. 30 year olds are off limits.
You told the cop you where the star of the Track team and tried to run away. So yeah, i'm not surprised.
He looked at me and just said "moist". The entire party shut down from uncomfortableness. He is an anti-party wizard.
Batteries died. I don't care that you're studying for the bar. Come over. Bring the law books and study after. I'll even make coffee.
Now I have to set an alarm for less than 6 hours from now to wake her up, get her showered and get her to her first day of tutoring a kid from her church. WTF is my life?
Things I Learned Tonight: I have no future in goat wrangling. Herding. Whatever you call the ridiculosity that just transpired.
Anyone see the sob who took the piñata?
I need a light and a towel. ive got cum in places ive never had cum before.
I didn't even respond. Just letting the crazy settle before I calmly fuck his shit up.
Alternately I could tell him western classical is just a series of events that had to happen for music to reach the point where Beyoncé was able to pen drunk in love, which is the pinnacle of humanity's artistic achievement thus far
Randomize
