found out this morning via facebook that the guy i met last night has a wife and a baby and he took me to his apartment where he takes girls to cheat on his wife
i mean you met him at the daytona 500
Married on the beach in PCB while blackout drunk. Bonged beers on the sandbar for a bachelor party. They shotgunned beers at the end of the vows. How is spring break allowed to happen?
i ran around the party telling everyone that my favorite sexual position was also the only position that made me queef...i kept calling it the "double edged sword"
By round 4 of the Dead End shots, I thought my jaw was dislocated ... Best invention EVER.
You're right. Single life welcomed me back with open arms. It's like it knew it wasnt going to be long when I left.
We realized tonight that we have to get advice about guys from you because you're our only straight male friend that neither of us has slept with.
Just replaced the batteries in my vibrator without turning on the lights. I need to get laid.
the guy sitting next to me at the bar has a patrick swayze tattoo hovering over a roast beef sandwich. 'merica.
May 25th. Drunk Laser Tag party to celebrate our bdays. May 26th. Mushrooms at Chattanooga Aquarium. Damn
You both sound like you need to get shit faced, fight it out, and have makeup sex.
Nice. The Governor's son bruised my vagina.
That's going to be the title of my memoir.
Hey, taking organic chemistry means no one is allowed to tell you you're partying too hard.
Why does my nose taste spicy?
How do you know what your nose tastes like?
Just a reminder- you dropped broccoli in my car and then felt bad for it and named him Henry
I know. I miss henry.
Never underestimate the power of titties
Randomize
