they just came back. i guess "were gonna go get dinner" means "were gonna fuck for 5 minutes at the little league field"
Have you ever noticed that nowhere is the same thing as now here, i get my best ideas when i smoke
I lined up everyone's pillows and I'm playing Evel Knievel when I jerk off later.
Do you ever wonder how many people have prayed for you to be a better person?
Kill yourself wednesday started off with a bang, and im pretty sure im still drunk from tequila tuesday.
I want to bury your face in my vagina. Possibly by force. I will try not to suffocate you though.
Just found out they make medicinal lollipops, bought like 40 of them. Gonna go fill a pediatricians lollipop bowl.
Dude, I fucked her last night with nothing but my bandana on. Like straight Indian chief style.
Hes pre-made beer lollipops so he "can suck before the sex" QUOTE!
I want a MapMyFart App, where I can mark every spot where I have ripped one. Like here.
What I do when I'm blackout drunk is none of my business.
She pulled up to the bar in a limo, wasted, and alone. Gets out, shrugs and slurs "I couldn't find a cab" and proceeds to take a shot.
I'm in love.
Did you go to church in Texas and sign me up?
You need southern Jesus
We just got home a lil bit ago. No sorority girls showed except the ugly swimmer chick and she asked if I've ever faked an orgasm.
I just heard a crying baby from out my apartment window and yelled SAME
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