I have nothing to say, just wanted ur phone to vibrate
seriously considering responding to a craigslist ad for a lesbian cunninlingus instructor...at this point i'm so desperate for a job that i'm willing to switch teams.
Please. Last time I saw him I awkwardly pulled his rat tail until it got too weird
I just remembered you had me meet your law professor while I was wasted...how'd that go?
you took the tequila shot and then procceded to eat the lime..we told you to spit it out but you just straight face kept chomping
For once I want to have sex without having to google the after effects of it.
I BIT YOU IN THE DINING ROOM. I bit you and you crunched
You were all "think outside the box, inside the bag!" as you filled your camelback with beer.
Confirm that you received these messages so that I know you feel the agony of my vagina. There is such a thing as "too many penises".
You yelled "Everybody!!! Round of applause to Jill for not doing anal!!" Right in front of him.
So, what my linguistics project should really be called is "I happen to sleep/makeout with a lot of bilinguals and am now using them to help me graduate"
He is getting no nudes from me. I don't even care if I'm losing his legal advice.
Nothing like an afternoon walk of shame across campus on parent's weekend. Damn.
I'm about to take plan-b with a glass of wine and ramen noodles. I cannot decide who will hurt more...my vagina, my kidneys or my pride.
I just elbowed a roll of wrapping paper, and said “ohh sorry”. I’m still drunk.
Randomize
