I forgot to tell you. I'm at a porno shoot today.
I was thinking about him in the shower then i get out of the shower and there was a text from him
its like he has a camera inside of my shower that looks into my brain
yeah that facebook group of people who have had sex with me probably isn't to discreet...
I'm sitting at the bar eating dinner next to a nerd, a guy in a 10 gallon hat, and a policeman. I feel like I joined The Village People
I just witnessed two drunk midgets fighting over a graham cracker. I can die happy now.
I just wanted to let you know I just licked gravy off of my boobs. Just putting that out there.
He blow dried my hair while I sucked his dick. Now THAT'S fucking teamwork.
Waking and baking in my bathtub. In a giant sweater. And no pants. This is going to be the best 420 ever.
no i had to finish in the bathroom to a pic of her mom in a bikini.
My fake id got more birthday sex than I've had in my life.
You ever just wake up and decide, today I'm going to eat a whole bag of fritos and a tub of cream cheese
Went to a date party without a date and had a threesome wooops
I told him I was gunna have sex with him in both of our cars at the same time.
I will most likely miss you the least and fondly remember you as Mr. "I need a minute" but really need 24 hours and 4 extra inches.
We need a signal or code word for "I basically shaved my whole body and we should touch each other tonight".
Randomize
