i tried slipping money on her dresser whenever she brings guys home hoping she'll start to question her goals in life... i think its only encouraging her
she keeps giving me cups of everbeer.. its everclear and beer mixed. i guess its blackout or backout time
Pretty sure i didnt get thrown out cause why dont i have more bloody areas
Great I'll forever be branded as gym slut at the new gym.
So howd u manage to get high at a one year olds birthday anyway?
Whatever. I'm just trying to get my dick sucked while taking online harmonica lessons
I'm not sure any amount of coworker judgement will keep me from eating oatmeal with dinosaur eggs.
I just woke up to three dick pics. Apparently in my blacked out state. I was asking for them as the new valentines day card.
All you kept saying was, " Barack fucking Obama. FUCK Michelle" and then you motorboated me.
There's still helium in the tank I found in the garbage outside the bar!
Well his dad is my dentist so they've both been in my mouth.
I can't believe i lost my ID... bringing my birth certificate to the club was a weird experience
Is offering to blow your HR rep considered an ethics violation?
She's one of those people who could be either 16 or 23. In which case she's too old for me or in dangerously jailbait territory for you, bro.
i accidentally gave my stepdad ketamine so id say it was a fun weekend.
Randomize
