we were dressed as cave people and he kept telling everybody i was so easy a caveman could do it.
she met some random, took his vcard, peed in his bed, left, and then requested him as her boyfriend on facebook
at first i was worried but she assured me her frail vegan body would have no chance at conception.
high in an attic. pig roast in 10.
Just so we're clear this time around: This is dinner with my FAMILY. Not an opportunity for you to drink too much, and use the word "dick-thumpin" in casual conversation.
My hair is short now so it will be easier to give you alot more blow jobs
I'm going to take this text and frame it on my mantle
Going to the u of w I constantly have that moment of, oh hey I felt you up at that rave at folk fest that one time. Winnipeg is too small.
I can't tell if the dead thing in the yard is a deer or the guy I slept with last night...
The saddest thing about graduating is that we won't have free access to STI screening anymore
And it was in that moment when I realized that these high schoolers looked up to me and that I should set a good example. So I stole a casserole and left.
There was a point where you were singing "Friends in Low Places" to yourself while Juicy J was playing so I got worried.
You threw your body across the gross couple hooking up on the couch and demanded they scratch your back. I love you drunk on peach schnapps
Can't. Way too high. Forgot how to operate doors. Stuck outside.Come get me.
How have you been? I haven’t talked to you since you dyed your pubes.
I got locked into my place today. You might be wondering if that was a typo... It's not.
Randomize
