Midnight walks are trippy
I tried to do that earlier, but I was alone and scared, so I stole a happy Birthday balloon.
I can feel you judging me through the phone.
she danced around my room naked waving around the gold trojan magnum condoms singing "i have the golden ticket."
little did she know i was taping her the whole time.
After we fucked he shhhh'd me and said your welcome
I just met his other fuck buddy...I am thinking of befriending her just to fuck with him...manuplating my roommates into hating each other is boring me i need something else to do
Okay the common myth about putting tampons in you nostrils for a nose bleed is busted. It just starts coming out through your throat.
Finally better. I had to use eye makeup remover to get the purple wine stains off my lips
Highlight of my night: you taking that shot of garlic butter and then throwing the empty container down on the stairs and saying FUCK.
When he texted me, I got a little wet. Until he asked me to get Jimmy Johns before I got to his house.
According to facebook, I opened up a can of whupass on some douche who poured all the vodka on the ground.
You called the wrong number but I salute you.
we played animal sounds and i linked arms with her cuz we were both cats....fate and my community college drama teacher have chosen my one night stand
So I'll be starting a scrapbook from all the mugshots of the guys I've slept with
This weekend I turned down sex to watch the Star Wars marathon... Is this growing up?
I have a horrible feeling I left my dildo in the kitchen today after washing it. This is my life.
Let’s not dwell on the negatives. I have a fat ass and suck dick well.
Randomize
