whjeg hajt iyt
say what?
wanna hang out?
so all night Ive been that girl with her tits out @ the bar. I mean I dropped jaws, yo. But in a classy way.
I forgot how few teeth there are in this state...
And then i had a penis in each hand. It was magical.
Something about getting head on stairs. I don't know.
You convinced us both to take shots of jack Daniels through our eyes.
I send him pictures of my tits whenever I feel like he's paying too much attention to his girlfriend.
Heard you had a bad day. I have vodka, chocolate and my dick here ready to put a smile back on your face.
Did I tell you I bit someone's arm for you last night
Oh and Dustin informs me I'm a legend amongst the freshman, if you were wondering about my street cred
Props to you. You took the bet seriously. Making out with her for an hour right after she spewed
Just thought of the perfect gift for mom.... how about not telling her about my fourth open intoxicant ticket I got last night?
After my shift today I'm going on a bender. Not saying this so you'll stop me, just a heads up to invest in Tylenol, Gatorade, and Jack
Now just crop his dad out and add it to the spank bank.
I just smoked part of an Oreo cuz I thought it was some hash you left
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