I chose taco bell over sex...
good choice.
I will never underestimate my ability to drunken ramble. At one point last night i think i was talking about hieroglyphics
Where'd you guys get the alcohol from?
Oh. Some homeless guy we picked up from I-70. He bought us $400 worth of alcohol in exchange for a shower.
...... wtf.
Woke up with two cats staring at me. One covered in puke thats giving me a look that says it might be my fault. Where am I? Come get me.
but he gave me mouthwash after the bj. no ones ever done that for me before.
He also informed us that it's rude to shove your tit in someone's mouth. Happy Monday.
Just wanted you to know two things, 1st I sent the second thing to a broad ive been talking too. 2nd that was not just a fart.
I say this as a friend, you would make a SPECTACULAR crossdresser
I suppose we should both be prepared for the secret service to come visit us after this conversation. Hi NSA.
I may or may not have just let Ash Ketchum capture my wild Pikachu in a parking lot.
Getting free blow from a total stranger, who asked permission to stroke my eyebrows, was the highlight of my evening out. Also, I have a new cuddle dealer.
I had to ask him for a dick pic. Do you know how refreshing that was?
I know you like got hit by a car but do you want to come to my birthday pardi
Oh my god I need an adult
Wait shit I am an adult
Girl in front of me just swan dove into the middle of the carpeted hallway, stood up, clapped for herself, and then continued walking. My life is complete.
Randomize
