I would wrestle an alligator for a bj right now
I just found 22 drunken videos and 4 naked pictures on my phone. We'll start the bidding at $5
he was playing drums on rock band as i poured bailey's into his mouth. tell me that's not a bonding moment.
Thank you for getting us into that car accident. I have had more guys hit on me than ever before because of my broken fingers.
we left the music on while we were fucking. some kanye west song started playing and he started to cry
Stoned in some guys basement listening to ELO. it's like its 1978.
Just fat and dog and sweat all over the bed. All night long.
fuck that its my house. if i want to take 1 bite out of the chicken & leave the rest i fucking will. suck my dick
I saw the attitude and didn't even try. Line of the night from one guy who talked with them for a while said, "I don't meet you standards. I have a job and would treat you well." She was blank faced.
Sneezing cum all over the table was not the highlight of the family reunion if that tells you anything
He wants me to tell you "my boner misses you"
The power of the half flaccid cock, and to think, I thought I was just playing accordion in front of her Vagina!
I just realized that Margarita Wednesdays are so much better now when followed by No Work Thursdays.
Ignore him I am the one that wears the pants in the relationship while "the big man" cries in bed
I had a date last night. His dog threw up in his bed while we were having sex in it.
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