FUCK TREES I CLIMB BUOYS MOTHERFUCKER
STOP listening to that song
she's laying in my bed with an ice pack on her vagina. how do you think it went?
I'm considering failing out of my last semester of college just so I can keep fucking him.
If we break up, I want weekend visitations with your penis.
As we were fooling around he told me he was conceived on this bed like it would turn me on.
yeah a little bit of me felt bad about it. But the rest of me was having sex with him.
Do you think I should still be the condom fairy for Halloween even though I'll be like.. Almost 8 months pregnant?
I put tequila in my salad dressing yesterday. Step the fuck up.
Friends don't brand friends with cigars. It's not how it works.
You sent 2 glasses of water to the table next us and told to the waitress they were on you. I repeat: water
She deliberately backed into the homewrecker's whoremobile and yelled ""FOR SPARTA!"
I'm sorry I told you to go fuck yourself after you said good morning to me when I was hungover.
I hate college football. It's really fucking with our phone sex schedule.
Dude. I keep thinking about how I let a man gum my vagina.
that guy was staring at your tits.
nah, more like they were staring at him, and his girlfriend, and her less than adequate bosom. they pitied the fool.
point taken, oh mistress of the bosoms.
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