You can spell. I can kill people with no remorse. We all have our skills.
the crunchwrap supreme is the def leppard of the taco bell menu
which is why it's clearly superior
i just hope all the shady shit stops so i can let him into my pants
I started drinking at 10.30am. Ive got a solid buzz, ive decided holidays are to be treated like gamedays
i kept drunkenly begging people i met to be in my facebook mafia
Found out why they call her Halfpipe Jenny-NOT the cool reason we thought
Best dream ever last night. You moved here. Your Spanish name meant highway. Your favorite food was styrofoam.
God damn him and his understanding ways and little hip muscle things.
5 am booty call.. And I went I need to gain better control of my vagina
Why was I lying under a truck last night?
Fuck it, I'm going to make my own dick pic album since iOS 10 won't do it for me.
Woke up in the hospital naked with my id's taped to my chest. Also apparently puked on two guys, two girls and an escalade (at the same time). Good night.
what do you mean he's functionally heterosexual
I don't know what else is in your wedding gift, but I just pulled out a pair of handcuffs in front of her grandmother.
Also a whip and a blindfold. Don't be a bitch, enjoy it!
I just baptized you in budweriser and you were cool with it
Randomize
