Come to the Burger King. We're waiting for you.
Waaait I'm alsleep in myt car somewhere
If you win this game of words with friends, ill suck you off for 30 minutes. No lie.
I cant last that long. Do i get the rollover minutes?
dont get me wrong, i like when a guy is into my boobs but when he started saying mama i want milk let me suck, i gathered my shit together and bounced.
I just did the nutritional comparison between 2% milk and Bud Light Lime.. the beer had less calories, less carbs, and less fat. It's not looking good for milk in my life anymore
He did plead exhaustion. And I made him push through it. I am like the motherfucking badass football coach of sex.
How the fuck did you end up in a tree? With multiple people?
Mom said you looked used
I would like you to know I am eating your apology chocolate, which means i forgive you for puking everywhere before formal
He played with my boobs the whole time we watched Scott Pilgrim and then started invited others to play with them too. It reminded me of how my mom gives out my french fries without asking.
idk wtf was in that bud but I was talking to my dead dog last night bro holy shit
Oh dear. Sending much love.
Just send a machete.
I feel kind of like we’re in a gang and tonight is one of those “people are gonna know not to fuck with us” type of nights. And then tomorrow I am going to learn to pole dance. I’m not really sure how I got to this point in my life… but I like it.
The party pretty much ended once she shit on the couch
It’s like a sexy version of those choose your own adventure books from when we were kids. No matter what you choose, there will be penis!
Randomize
