I no longer want to be the gay that plays in the revolving door at RelationshipDale's like a seven year old with a.d.d.
I just googled dawgpound, shoulda seen that pornsite coming
I can only be a whore so many days outta the week.
Samesies
either she doesn't know how to dress properly on a sunday morning stroll, or I just saw a 60 year old on a walk of shame
we did it on the golf course and he threw the condom in the pond. some poor fish is gonna choke on it
An outback commercial just played and I remembered that guy from Australia Imade out with at the Derby. Great Bachelorette Party, btw.
I just found out the guy that lied and blew me off got arrested, his mugshot is online. Life is good.
Breakfast Clubbing as Juggalos. I can feel our IQs in freefall.
I was on all fours trying to empty the bowl we smoked into the sewer when your neighbor came out, but besides that it went smoothly
Nobody will take a lit match to your nipple without warning you this time. Pinky swear.
Ok. I'm gonna smoke some weed and look at some elephants without you then.
The Uber driver took us to a Waffle House. We didn't even say anything when we got in. MAGIC.
If I walk downstairs and Kelly is fucking in the laundry room again I'm gonna die
It was fine. Until I accidentally shit on his floor.
Sorry I trained your dog in Spanish last night. At least he listens to someone now.
Randomize
