I murdered the dance floor call the cops
This boy just came into class wearing sperrys and a polo but also carrying a longboard. I'm unequivocably attracted to his level of doucheyness.
Its official. Iv'e been kicked out of a bar in every state. I would like to take my job and travel time for allowing this to happen.
He showed up 3 hours late wearing roller skates and acted like nothing was wrong with that.
Its only.eleven and we are already chasing a man on a bike with a bag full of burger king
I heard liver failure is in for 2012 anyways
I've never felt so epic in my entire life as I do right now, my bare testicles staring down the ocean itself
Guess which frat house I just walked out of! And on a related note... guess who's uncircumsized
You made me pull over because you thought a leaf was a twenty rolling across the road.
can i text him and be like "oh yeah, forgot i kinda made out with a girl this weekend. For future reference, does this count as cheating?" ?
I chose not to drink last night but drinking chose me
I'm actually more excited that I had so much sex this weekend that my ovaries hurt
honestly if there were pictures of last night i would be embarrassed.... im embarrassed without pictures
Ok here's the plan: birth control, KFC, handcuffs.
Fruitcakes are only good for throwing at neo Nazis.
Randomize
