Help. Asians are flirting in front of me(773): They speak asian
any chance you can send me your legal ethics outline, in exchange for say, me buying you a lapdance the next time we go to the strip club?
Somehow I don't trust you in this state to talk to you about a colonoscopy
Just watched a drug bust from the Ralphs parking lot while listening to Frank Sinatra. Happy Valentine's Day.
My building was evacuated who wants to quake and bake
Are you alive?
I googled "I don't want to vomit anymore," and "how to rip out your uvula," at 9 am this morning, but I'm still here. Uvula and all.
She called us while she was having sex to ask if we remembered to feed the cat
I dont understand how her boyfriend puts up with her weirdness
you know i have almost 1500 fb friends but not ONE drunk booty call?
My day in three words: secret purse cake
Banana suit guy has an entourage and they're all douchebags. There is no god.
My roommate fed me my birth control pill while I was hungover laying on the couch so that's how my morning has been
Every FB picture she has looks like it's from the POV of the guy she's blowing
I had a sex with someone last night and I was so drunk. i told him to tell me his whole name so I can say it back to him in a "sexy" way.... Because I forgot it
I had to google some of the kinky sex shit she was telling me she was into.
If that is not a reason to propose to her then I don't know what is
After finding out he was married when we were together, I don't trust him.
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