So I have to go swallow an entire zebra. Ur on ur own girl.
Thanks for the three minutes of sex tonight.
How do 1 in 4 women misread a pregnancy test; how stupid are women?
i'm going through the NYU 2014 group looking for future drunken hookups. too slutty?
You say "I'm in class" like it matters... I'm getting a little tired of having to smoke by myself at 4:20 because you're in class.
Pre-game strategy: play thunder by yourself in the shower. Surprisingly, success.
You were pretty committed to that cat costume. Between pukes, you would meow and assure people that you just had a hairball you couldn't get out...
Did they have a limo or was i just stoned?
Things we need. Powerade. Water in fridge. Mixers for vodka. And reality checks.
Dude she broke four ribs, how does a 110 lb girl break four of my ribs during sex?! It hurts so bad but was so worth it
Bro she gave me the stare. It's like she boned me with her eyes. I'm going in.
also new logic of mine : I fuck a Scottish kid , Scotland national animal is a Unicorn airgo I've come close to fucking a unicorns descendent, mother always said dreams come true
I hope you have irresponsible drunk insurance because you're about to pay a deductible
You know it's a pretty bad night when an injured penis is not the worst thing that happened to you. Fuck tequila
there is glitter all over my balls
Randomize
