Jesus was obviously not given an itemized list of your sins before he died for them
Do ugly people know they are ugly?
The quiet ones do.
yes, the chronicles of narnia is exactly what happens when you do crack inside of a wardrobe.
this crazy girl in up in Dennys is going crazy because Bob Saget just texted her.
Well, ive pounded a baby into a stripper and a girl who was on jerry springer, a 16 year old is logically next.
I don't know, I don't really wanna ask the question, "Mom why am I not circumcised?"
definitely just fell out of bed trying to plug in my phone. when did laziness start getting painful?
Do you know many girls there are in gay bars waiting for me to do coke off their tits? A lot.
Seriously wondering if smoking a bowl for lunch was a bad idea.
OR THE BEST. STAY TUNED.
I was just handed jelly beans by a guy in a penguin costume. Standby for confirmation on if they are actually drugs.
Im rolling face in a pizzeria. I want to be with people who love me.
what the hell makes you think you get to decide what your going to wear at our weding!?
he sent a dick pic to my best friends phone for me cause mine died lol pretty sure he was regretting that night outta town.
it was like reliving my childhood drunk at a bar.
I feel like my entire body is ashamed of me today
You're a god amongst men today
Randomize
