just realized i've hooked up with 3/4 of the guys here COOL
You ruined his night from a different state? Impressive.
i really should have bought real food rather than condoms, olives, coleslaw and beer...
I apparently spent $173 at the bar last night. The proof is in the vomit on my pillow and the receipt I tried to clean it up with.
If you didn't damage your room so much from fucking so hard we would have got more of our security deposit back
I resent that
sold 4 oz of weed today pantsless. man i love college.
you called me at 4 in the morning and invited me over for pasta and a late night viewing of titanic.
She started howling at the moon. That was pretty much the deal breaker.
was it wrong to tell him he's welcome in my pants any time?
I believe the question is can one ever have too many vibrators?
In case you're wondering what I'm doing, I'll be banging an 18 year old this weekend. Repeatedly.
Imma go take shower so I can cleanly change into my drinking underwear.
I know I'm drunk but why am I receiving this handjob through the pant leg of my shorts..?
can we fuck so we can live up to our nicknames for eachother?
outside on the street drinkin, walked into a random house and asked to pee, some kid hands me a beer and says i have to chug it first
Randomize
