So the D.A.R.E. essay I helped my tutor kid write won an award. Oh the irony.
Did u pay ur friends to not make fun of me?
george bush was a better president for first pitches than barack obama. there. i said it.
He kept saying "this is a bad idea" wasn't in his vocabulary. He left at 2 came back at 6 eating frozen waffles and he had a symbol, a moped mirror, and a new MacBook. I'd say he had a good time
My heart is having a hard time convincing my vagina he's not worth it.
I would never do this in real life. It's only college.
If this week is any indication of my life here I've got to get out ASAP. My liver can't hack it.
He wasn't eating out, he was performing a hysterectomy without a license....should I be worried about my future family?
He's sitting in his room on Facebook with nothing but a pillow covering his crotch. I can't help you at the moment.
Maybe if he'd step up his game and get a real job instead of donating plasma and trying to grow pot then you wouldn't feel compelled to write prisoners in Oregon.
The last time I went to Vegas and the sun started to rise, my copilot went home with her nipples pierced.
Woke up, moved an empty handle of fireball to spit blood, then put the morning cigarette out in it.
Successfully put eye drops in while driving with my glasses on. Stoner level: expert
I've only fucked to 2 Fleetwood Mac songs, that must be why my life feels so empty.
I stopped telling people I'm a pansexual unless they ask first, really tired of explaining what that means.
Randomize
