It's true. Ladies love me because I'm so strong and they feel safe. Not because of my pseudo charm and their impaired judgement after several drinks...
I think i really like him...he was super cuddly and kept me company.
stop. you already have a dog
you got kicked out last night because right after you said "whats up?" to us, you downed your whole vodka ton and threw it across the bar.
Got a basket, 50 condoms, some candy, 100 plastic eggs & my bunny costume. Campus will feel my wrath in 2 weeks
He kept trying to order 'sex on the tennis courts' for a drink last night
Yeah, but there's no serving sizes for dick.
Since you haven't talked to me since the rancid whipped cream fiasco, I'm going to assume we are no longer hooking up. But I need my handcuffs back. ASAP.
In honor of the internet blackout, I think everyone needs to change their Facebook pictures to ones of them being blacked out.
Cause its not a drunken adventure unless someone ends up in a pool
Haha its fine we ask know it. He's still cool thought
Focus on the keyboard man. Focusssss
It happened to me once. But i washed off in a duck pond and walked home naked.
Have you ever just sat there and thought about past penises?
At least life still wants to fuck me.
My date ended with her leaving the bar with that guy who used to jerk off in the back of the school bus.
So being hungover in an office full of people with hangovers for 9 hours is quite possibly what hell will be like.
Randomize
