sometimes i wonder what i would do without sheltered catholic girls w/ overprotective parents
never have sex?
well i did feel guilty about it. until i saw how hot the guy was the next day. now, nothing but pride.
My drug dealer is spending the weekend in my studio apartment. I feel like I've crossed a line that should never be crossed.
You two kept repeating the same thing over and over. It was like looking after retarded pull-string dolls.
I am at the point where deciding not to drink alone is worth a rocky music montage in and of itself.
I'm functioning at the level of a challenged walrus.
If you listen closely you can hear the sound of inbreeding and shame.
Find me a date. With a beard. I want him to rub his beard on my tits. I'm not even into that stuff but I think it'd be so warm.
I feel like I shouldn't have to explain to you why giving your cat weed was a bad idea.
Let's say hypothetically if you were going to put icing on a penis and then lick it clean...what would you ice it with? Not a knife right?
He said he's in to distance fucking. I thought he just mean long durations. We fucked on a towel all the way down his tile hallway accross his kitchen and into the living room
it's unicorns you uncultured swine
i told him the only way i'd fuck him was if he saved me during the zombie apocolypse and took me to a tastefully decorated yet impenetrable hideout.
Bad part of last night: I puked in my hair. Good part of last night: I assembled a posse.
You kept pulling me aside saying "look what I found"
Get to the bar now. Ryan is single again and every skank on campus that has heard story about his dick is circling like a shark. A cock hungry shark
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