well it doesn't count as a walk of shame if he drops you off at your class in his golf cart
I literally ate my thanksgiving dinner while getting a lapdance. And honestly, after that, there is no other way.
I mean come on, he's the best quarterback in the state and doesn't even know how to put on condom
on the bus. saw a kid get off at a red light, puke on the sidewalk, and get back on.
I didn't think it was possible, but that girl next door is even louder when drunk.
Everytime I am with a guy I hope his penis is as big as yours. It never is. Thanks for setting that bar.
I'm hoping he'll tell everyone how great in bed I am. Well, how great in bathroom floor I am.
As payment for all the times you have babysat me while im drunk, im giving you the shorts i stole from the guy i stayed with on friday night. They're clean. Come get em.
Earned the respect of a group of freshman by chugging Das Boot while hanging out a window and lost it shortly after by wrecking a clown bike into them.
I just had nipple jewelry returned to me in the law library.
I'm drunk in a place called Lick-A-Chick. PS. It's not a lesbian hot spot, they sell chicken.
Welcome to the single world where it seems vibrator batteries are in short supply and making a sandwich while naked at 2am is relatively normal
Should I apologize to him for saying I wanted to punch him in the face as I was digging through the trash?
she chased shots of jack with a fucking steak. i'm in love.
I wish I could send you one of those donuts I had. Like teleport it to you. Because it would change your life
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