So I'm going back to my apartment just to get my vibrator.
I thought you were moving in with your boyfriend for the summer?
Well....one will keep me from having to pay rent and the other satisfies. I'll let you figure it out.
I think I'm cybering, it's been a while and its more in depth than it was in 8Th grade.
As I climbed in the bathroom window from the room I noticed both him rommates staring and talking about me in the hall...
We should invent fake asshair for you to wear so you can experience my pain for a day.
I just remembered you had me meet your law professor while I was wasted...how'd that go?
I fcuked ip.
Is this your way of telling me that you got drunk in your office before meeting with your dissertation advisor again? Or that you finally banged that freshman fraternity pledge?
Smoked all day yesterday and even more today. Just survived high dinner with mom and sister. Thought I might eat the whole table
Lol I think I might have been a little aggressive last night there is a blue ass print from your jeans on my wall
Your life is quite full of dick lately.
It really is!
Was reaching for my vibrator this morning out of my nightstand and strained my neck muscle. I'm getting so old.
You weren't singing into a microphone in front of an audience. You were screaming into your fist in the check-out aisle in Walmart.
My new plan is to whip out my titties when they arrive. Maybe they won’t notice that I broke the couch fucking my boss...
You fell while talking to a cop, then proceeded to acuse him of tripping you... he was arresting you for public intox.
Sex was followed by homemade breadsticks. I waited till after the breadsticks were gone to tell her i had a gf.
Btw I puked in your glovebox
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