so i told my doctor my symptons and she just shook her head at me
Btw, I'm really high so I apologize if anything I say gets translated into arabic.
you googled "nude photos of celebrities you wouldn't expect to have nude photos", puked into the beer bong, and then laughed
that would be two times in a week with two different guys.
they have the same name so it only counts as one guy right?
He asked if I wanted to leave my bra on while we were doing it from behind bc he read somewhere that all that pounding can be painful for big breasts. THAT thoughtful.
I was passed out in a dog food bowl tor two hours. Just tapped my dinner beer. I love homecoming.
So, I'm stoned at his house petting the neighbors cat I made him steal.
You're a fucking train wreck.
What does puking wasabi feel like?
Like snorting cocaine backwards.
Seriously, don't even. "Hi, have I seen you half naked covered in bright red body paint on the internet?" is NOT acceptable water-cooler chit-chat.
Aw.
I traded him cumming in my face for a year for a Disney annual pass. One giant leap back for feminism, one small step for the adult child Disney fan.
And I'm sorry for punching you in the face when I drunkenly threw my sandwich
Whatever. I have his dick. Haha how many girls can say they have a dildo replica of a guy they were seeing
His mom came while we were asleep naked and started asking me about my plans after high school... Is that even a thing.
Shit happens dude.
Shit doesn't just HAPPEN on the kitchen floor you asshole.
I got drunk. Then I took a shit.
It was a good shit
Randomize
