ron's 8" boning knife is for sale. oh and it comes with a flavor injector.
High?
hahahahaha turkey breast
So apparently last night I was running around columbus circle station screaming that Obama was a pussy and that "waterboarding should always be an option" lol
I just had to google "How do I get semen stains off of drywall." I'm relatively proud of this
Standing in line for a prescreening of Alice in Wonderland - guy just passed out cold in front of us - first drug overdose of the Alice in Wonderland phenomenon witnessed.
She can't drink and she can't smoke weed. She might as well be dead to me.
On your way out, lock the front door. And by lock the front door, I mean find the door handle, reattach it, and then lock it.
He came up and told us to watch as he chugged his beer with no hands. Then asked if he could come drunk swimming with us.
fucked a girl in Bentley hall at ten tonight, came on the carpet and I plan on doing it in another building soon. Watch where you walk
im just going to make a prayer circle of top ramen packets and cheap beer
Before I go in, is 'I just got a root canal 2 hours ago' a good excuse to show up drunk to yoga class with a 6 pack? Because if not I think I need to go home.
I just walked through the door and she ran up to me, hugged me, unzipped my pants and immediately started sucking my dick. Good day.
He was only in jail for 4 hours before he was someone's prison wife
It just makes sense. It's like I end a relationship, and wash myself of sin... with tequila.
the guy in front of me in walmart is buying a blowtorch, potato chips, and condoms. I'm curious and horrified at the same time.
Considering I drank for you last night, do you mind picking up your half of the hangover
Randomize
