Awesome morning. I just met my boyfriend's wife, should I have shaken her hand or was the hug a tad over the top?
It's like alcoholism for beginners at my kitchen table.
it's like a walk of shame rule, you always run into someone who saw you wearing that yesterday
I swear I only do things like fuck 19 yr olds just to hear how you laugh when I tell you.
He just found another high guy at wal-mart. There now friends. His friend is eating a cupcake
when it says do not use on the face or genital areas, it MEANS do not use on the face or genital areas.
I looked up while we were having sex to see him covering my pillow pet's eyes with his free hand. I think I'm in love
And I just had to awkwardly tell 3 police officers that I was having sex and not in any trouble
$200 on plane. $110 on train. $5 per drink on plane. $15 per case on train. Plane 1 hour flight. Train 9 hour excursion. Hmmmmm.
Excuse me while I download incredibly disturbing porn until I'm more ashamed of myself than of my country.
So the next three days will be henceforth known as the 'celebration of the end of the most irresponsible years of my life' be prepared to wake up naked in a ditch.
Please don't mistake my med student status for responsibility. I'm drinking tequila while studying vascular surgery techniques.
When that wave blew your top off I heard someone yell "SPANK BANK"
As a former fat girl, that's probably the best compliment I've ever received ever!
I found you walking along the street hammered. You walked up said hi and handed me a beer.
So I heard her yell at him and I went downstairs to find he had lit up each one of my smokes and taken just one drag off each and had em lined up on the table. She says he "experiments" when on Ambien.
Randomize
