I just passed one of the bars and saw my mom kissing another woman. This can't be good....right?
Knowing your life, probably not.
Mac n' cheese is coming out of my nose. You can't make that feel better
No its cool I don't even have to do anything he is rapping to one of the strippers. He is punishing himself enough.
This dude. Just lost. A finger. He asked us for tape.
I'm love that we're talking about a possible 3rd 3some, and that you're going to be a dad.
The used rubbers I threw behind her bed all semester must have landed on the baseboard heater. They went up in smoke when she turned on the heat last night.
don't pay it forward
I eont pay shit forward. told a stranger to call an abulance and peaced
He told her Jesus wouldnt yell curse or degrade her. He'd just simply shake his head and slap the shit out of her
We left the bar and you kept yelling "ONWARD SCION, TO GLORY!!"
The inflatable penis from those pics was mine... We broke him that night
yeah, never be friends with someone with shitty eyebrows.. they obviously already make poor life choices
Woke up this morning with fake blood all over my bed which is a positive considering last year it was all real blood
I walked out in my coconut bra, and that's when it all went downhill.
He showed up at my house with roses and a bottle of vodka... to watch a movie. obvi i took the vodka and didn't sleep with him
he's figured out my code; what are you doing = I haven't found a better dick yet
Randomize
