Locked eyes w/ her at mainstreet, and said 'yeah yeah get it!' From there we started violently making out on the dancefloor (I had a FULL boner, ps) and then I got her number
I just got called an ass for saying no thanks to a Greenpeace solicitor. I don't want the whales to die but I do want Greenpeace to fail. Conundrum.
my roommate and her friend got reaallllly high last night and it looks like they played scrabble. one of their words is "nippal"
Was just grinding with my bio TA. She asked why i wasnt studying
His concept of male bonding is doing lines in adjacent stalls.
why did you let me tell everyone that you can get herpes from the ice luge and then let me do the ice luge?
Jim came in did 3 body shots of her she said "I like your tongue" and they left. I swear to god its deja vu he's done it before
The only thing in that hotel room that we didn't fuck on was the roof
How soon is too soon to enter the slutty phase of this breakup?
I am wearing two different shoes and just swallowed my gum. Wake the fuck up and bang the bartender already.
threw up outside of the dorms in the parking lot in the pouring rain on the first day of class, i'd say summer is off to a good start.
Because if not I was going to quote Ryan Lochte as punishment
Thank god I got my shit together
I didn't notice because vodka
I feel like the universe head butted me in my balls. That hungover.
.... My lady balls. Cuz I'm a lady.
And by "sexually intimate," you mean fuck buddies?
Randomize
