Omg I def was not. I wasn't that drunk. I showed that I stuff my bra but I didn't whip my tit out.
Prereq for being on nyc prep: money, bitchy, and a lazy eye... if only you were rich
i wouldn't be half as slutty if there were better things to do.
would you kill someone to have someone deliver pancakes to you when you were high?
I'm too high to be shopping. I just contemplated deoderant for fifteen minutes. Now testing pillows
In hindsight maybe we should have moved his homework instead of playing quarters on top of it.
i had a dream last night that my liver tore its self out of my body and ran away.
I just found out my favorite drunk show, Repo Men, is just reenactments. I can't express through words my disappointment.
They are baked and once again have spent the last 45 mins talking about opening up a world wide business called "pickle on a stick"
Im going to need an iv of taco bell after this.
The best thing about my promotion is that I now have an office with a door. I can take my naps in peace instead of leaning my head against the stall in the bathroom.
I can't believe they pay you six figures. I hate you.
Come to wine Wednesday bro. We have a fog machine
Im gonna go lick parts of my apartment. Good night and be ever vigilant, you never know when I'm coming to epoxy your hand to you nipple.
And for today's main disappontment. I thought I saw a midget with fireworks get on the buss, alas it's a child with cleaning supplies
I blame her lesbian super powers of coercion.
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