you should have heard her the other night. no sentence related to one preceding it. it was like she was in etch a sketch and when she moved she forgot everythin
I am gunna fuck the accent right out of her mouth
We're gonna have horrible, horrible babies.
I just threw up on the floor. And we're gonna fuck on the beer pong table, so keep everyone upstairs.
But you're the one who should be jamming foreign objects into my vaj instead of an old weird lady. I mean, it is your birthday....
Also. When I die, I'm gonna have them put me in the casket naked and then have an open casket funeral. That will be my last chance to make people uncomfortable.
we managed to melt a few different forms of plastic into the cannibutter....
I just watched an intern spill two trays of coffee inside a spinning door
Best exit from a building ever
she grabed my junk and started making lightsaber noises
I wonder if you could get her in a metal bikini
I melted cheese on my pizza rolls. When I die make sure someone melts cheese on my rolls.
This night could easily degenerate into a drunken haze of strippers and gambling, but I need a support network.
i'm really sorry, but i'm just not sober enough to make good decisions.
You have a full penis tattoo of a cobra fighting a mongoose, don't you?
Come on in and take your pants off
Want to meet at a cool spot and just park like cops side-by-side and you can eat some potatoes and I can smoke a cigarette in your face?
Randomize
