You got so drunk you kept singing the Sailor Moon theme song and kept making everyone call you Sailor Venus.
so while trying to be a healthier drunk i discovered that putting airborne in natty is not an advisable decision
What part of "you pissed in the tent" do you not understand?
Lame. Party is tapping out at 4am. Even chanting "USA" didn't rally them.
Liz is crying about burritos again.
We had him convinced Visine is flammable. He was genuinely freaked out that everyone would know when he was stoned.
Guess who was PASSED OUT ON A BMW. I shit you not
Stop it right now
This time face forward
Flacco has been sacked like 7 times. His name also auto corrects to Flaccid. That's so sad
My roommate is downstairs drunk, smoking, and listening to a self help DVD. Please dear God don't let this be the Ghost of Christmas Future.
stop falling asleep in the bathtub. you are not a movie star, you cannot die that way.
Just got drunk at the Cheesecake Factory again. Made me think of you.
That's the nicest thing anyone's ever said to me.
Dad literally changed the channel from an episode of Big Bang Theory to another episode of Big Bang Theory. That's why I hate this show.
I'm one bad relationship away from owning seven cats.
As you were falling you yelled out, "save my burrito!" Priorities
Side piece definitely knows about my GF. Said it was sexy when I go commando, then left me pantsless in the club bathroom
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