I drank too much. My snot smells like vodka when I blow my nose.
Yeah. I hotboxed a windbreaker.
My parents just told me I first got drunk when I was 4. Successsssssss
sitting in class between the roommates of the two girls i fucked over break. this feels like a bad version of wife swap
Robbie told me you spent 10 mins discussing the curl in his hair and that you said "with that curl in your hair, you'll go far"
Somehow I feel more guilty using her razor then I do having sex with her boyfriend...
I am actually insulted by the long string of ugly, fat girls he hooked up with after me.
It's only 11:30 and she's already making friends with the homeless...
she said she walked into the kitchen and i was sitting ass naked on the floor chugging her parents vodka.
you took a potato out of your pocket and just started eating it raw. don't know where the potato came from though
21st birthday = success
She dresses cool and she's mean. And she has fake boobs I feel like I can relate to her on so many levels.
I'm not entirely sure what happened last night, but I think I dislocated my kneecap during an epic Mario Kart battle...
Your mother liked my album on facebook that's only filled with drunk pictures. I don't know what to feel about this
You have talents. You got me laid two weekends in a row in two different cities.
I've had more sex since the twins moved in than I'd had in the previous four years. They are the best wingman ever.
Randomize
