I just pooped in his toilet and didn't flush...I desperately need to get him past the girls don't poop phase.
So i think we're being coned into a threesome with the promise of pokemon
Out of desperation, I used the leftover sauce from my goat masala as a mixer for vodka shots.
Please note: when a bouncer tells you to leave, pointing out that their career path makes them a much better judge what to do will not make you friends
i repeatedly had to ask him if he was into this because he kept talking about random things while i jerked him off. i got annoyed and in order to annoy him back, i told him i wanted to watch him do it. he also talked about basketball WHILE cumming. NEVER AGAIN.
Turns out floaties are a great thing after a couple bottles of vodka
I just shaved my "bikini area" into a fucking pizza slice
She pretty much spent NYE measuring dicks, trying to decide which one to take home.
Sending a pic of labia to send to the TN Legislator. Obviously they don't think I know what to do with it so I'm gonna ask them for advice.
EW HE LOOKS LIKE SOMEONE'S DAD
I emptied a Vyvance capsule into my coffee pot last night and set the auto start. Pretty sure I've been drinking meth all morning
The night's not a success unless at least 60% of participants wake up with bite marks on their genitals the next morning.
I don't know what kind of parties you go to, but we should hang out more often.
I know it sounds cheesy, but i think both me and her mum know they are "thanks for being so cool about finding nudes of your daughter on the camera" flowers
Just do what I do and listen to your vagina. She’ll growl when she smells good dick
She then told me, and I quote "I want to send you nudes just to see how you'd react."
Randomize
