And i was thinking, 'i'm happy to be underneath you, but i wish you weren't doing THAT.'
i woke up at 5 am and found myself wrapped in christmas lights that were plugged into the wall.
NBC reported that a group almost has enough signatures to submit pole dancing as an Olympic sport in 2016...
God I fucking love America.
There was definitely a significant amount of cookie dough in my bra
Every time I there's a break up, I'm left with an animal. That's it. No more mutual pets.
I heard that clinking noise from behind me and I already knew you were whipping out a Smirnoff in class. Again.
IS SOBER OCTOBER A THING?? WTF WHO ARE THESE PEOPLE?
While he was gone for spring break I took his head board... I don't wanna wake up from his shenanigans for the rest of my college career.
I just want to eat Taco Bell and throw it up on his doorstep.
Take off your clothes and see if he wants to have sex, that's a good way to find out
Don't be hating on my everclear. Never taken a smoother journey into intoxication.
All of my friends are talking about changing their lives because they have an alcohol addiction and I'm over here reminding my boss that it's national beer day.
We fucked. Had a political debate. I won. So I sat on his face.
She bruised my penis again. But, trooper I am we kept on going.
If you get banged by this bartender you know you can't be mad at me right? Its the rules.
Randomize
