She STILL went home with me even when I said yes when she asked if I had an infectious disease. Turns out she asked if I had an infectious spirit...well she has my infectious spirit now
Through a series of unfortunate circumstances, I think I just sprayed lime juice on my vagina.
So the bartender just told me that there was numerous people who saw me having sex on the rooftop last weekend. +1
Every once in a while you'd chuckle to yourself, and when I asked you what's so funny u replied "sometimes my toes tickle eachother"
I think I've reached that age where I should start dating "congrats" and not "are you keeping it?"
i don't care if its just a preseason game, my pick up a guy and suck him off in the bathroom skills are in midseason form
I have my vibrator between my thighs and I'm listening to high school musical. That kind of high. We're all in this together.
I ran into his family and they made me a ham sandwich and I asked if they wanted to come streaking. I felt they deserved the invite.
I woke up to Elf. I don't know which one of you put that in my DVD player when I passed out but I appreciate you.
Ugh, I should just give up, and fuck him in a parking lot, and shave my head and walk naked through the streets of King's Landing.
Tell me again why we had to Facebook stalk your therapist?
What is your friends name that I hooked up with? ....I think j found his credit card under my bed
the awesomest thing about staying behind in our lame ass dorm room by myself during spring break: I've now nutted in 3 inconspicuous locations on your side of the room. brag to me again about how fucking awesome tahoe is you shithead. I dare you.
I lost my wolf penis dildo in my garage. I should probably find it before I resume my garage sale tomorrow...
My vagina! What have you done to it?
Blessed it my child.
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