cruising supermarkets, asking random people where i can get weed. fuck alaska
then she came back into the room with a neckbrace on. i thought she was getting ready for the pounding of a lifetime.
Operation Purity has been aborted
Yeah I hope so. Definately just saw two freshmen in very authentic togas and cotton ball beards. This new class is stepping it up.
Why do I have peacock feathers super glued to my body?
i told you the emergency thong was a good idea.
there are people swimming in the fountain next to the library... hello senior week
In anticipation of No Judgement Tuesday, I believe a Can We LOL At What We Did Last Night Saturday is in order
Every time I stand up, gravity punches me in the tits. This is horrible.
Eye surgery went well. Just can't believe it took getting lasers through my eyes to temporarily stop the vivid sex dreams I was having
About to go get a free burrito for kissing a bald man in public
Dude... She just sent me a story of how she wants to fuck me on a boat and call me her captain.. Well ahoy mateys, lets set sail
I'm so hungover I can't taste anything
Worst case scenario- he paid me for sex with meatloaf. There are worse thing, right? I mean at least is was good meatloaf.
We need to get walkie talkies for when we're drunk so if we are at different parties or lost we can talk
Randomize
