One of my boys faked an orgasm while fucking a girl tonite, w/ out wearing a condom mind you.
She caught him, and immediately put her clothes on and left.
So what does a sober person do in Vegas on a Friday night?
This guy just brought his piggy bank into the bar with him. Talk about corruption of childhood.
I just remember getting him back by licking the window on his truck.
You shouted "FUCK SHANIA TWAIN" and then downed an Aquafina bottle of white wine none of us knew how to react
I can't bring an entire liter in the bar in my purse. I mean I can. I might. I'm probably gonna.
i wish i just like had a pee bag attached to me and i could just go whenever i want wherever i want
When theres a zombie apocalypse, i will be the only fat survivor. I ate chef boyardi ravioli with part of a pen for a fork
my memory may be fuzzy, but the 20+ naked pictures I sent him were surprising clear
YES please come visit. Lets go get belligerent. I won't even pepperspray you
our jesse-walt dynamic is actualy really perfect because i want to start a small time drug empire and you want to get high a lot its very accurate
He hasn't responded in 6 hours and the last thing he sent me was a picture of 7 grams of coke. I'm getting kinda worried
he's dressing as a chick for halloween. of course i'm gonna make him get his legs professionally waxed. how is this even a question?
Are u alive? If u are, you deserve an award.
I am at the car wash dressed as a turn of the century librarian
Randomize
